Nice guys always finish last [Part 1]
Being a nice guy in this world we are living makes you a victim & vulnerable in life whether in your career, relationship or other areas in life.From my past experiences, l learnt that we are living in a world where everyone is interested in satisfying their own needs & nobody cares about how nice you are except people who truly love you. I know l should change something about my life whenever someone gives me a compliment like “thus a nice picture” or “thus a nice hair cut”.
How to know if you are "Nice Guy"
1. You accept & justify unaccepted behaviour from other people e.g. being bullied or cheated
2. You assume responsibility for others bad mood
3. You blame yourself for everything that happens
4. You accept blame from others even if you are not to be blamed, why? Because you are too nice
5. You continuously apologize & sorry word is always on your lips
6. You allow others to demean you by staying silent
7. You avoid confrontation at all costs
8. You neglate your feelings to accommodate others
9. You are not happy unless everyone surrounding you is happy
10. You feel invisible
11. You avoid a conflict by withholding your opinions/ideas & become agreeable with other people when you don’t actually agree.
12. You leave your schedule or priorities & try to fix and take care of other people's problems instead of letting them learn how to be responsible
13. You seek approval from others
14. You try to hide your perceived flaws and mistakes.
15. You don’t take risks in life; you are always looking for the “right” way to do things.
16. You let fear of embarrassment control you & you tend to analyse rather than feel.
17. You are often emotionally dependent on someone else
18. People always push you around. If there is a trash basket which needs to be emptied, someone will suggest you to empty it.
19. You don’t have guts to ask that girl you like to be your girlfriend & right now you are in friend zone
20. You let your boss give promotion to someone whilst you are supposed to be promoted.
1. You accept & justify unaccepted behaviour from other people e.g. being bullied or cheated
2. You assume responsibility for others bad mood
3. You blame yourself for everything that happens
4. You accept blame from others even if you are not to be blamed, why? Because you are too nice
5. You continuously apologize & sorry word is always on your lips
6. You allow others to demean you by staying silent
7. You avoid confrontation at all costs
8. You neglate your feelings to accommodate others
9. You are not happy unless everyone surrounding you is happy
10. You feel invisible
11. You avoid a conflict by withholding your opinions/ideas & become agreeable with other people when you don’t actually agree.
12. You leave your schedule or priorities & try to fix and take care of other people's problems instead of letting them learn how to be responsible
13. You seek approval from others
14. You try to hide your perceived flaws and mistakes.
15. You don’t take risks in life; you are always looking for the “right” way to do things.
16. You let fear of embarrassment control you & you tend to analyse rather than feel.
17. You are often emotionally dependent on someone else
18. People always push you around. If there is a trash basket which needs to be emptied, someone will suggest you to empty it.
19. You don’t have guts to ask that girl you like to be your girlfriend & right now you are in friend zone
20. You let your boss give promotion to someone whilst you are supposed to be promoted.
How can you stop being a nice guy?
1. Give opinion
lf you don’t give opinion or make your voice heard people will assume you are just a nice guy who is afraid of offending people with the truth. Say whatever in your mind without caring what other people think about you or how they are going to react.
2. Be aggressive in life
Few weeks ago I wrote an article about being aggressive in life. You can check it on this blog...
Few weeks ago I wrote an article about being aggressive in life. You can check it on this blog...
3. Confront before you walk away
The moment you realize that you have been playing a nice guy & someone have been taking advantage of you, walk away. In fact before you walk away, face that person who have been abusing or bullying you & state that you no longer tolerate such behaviour. lf you are being abused don’t just be quiet. Sue that bastard! Contact someone you trust who is not in a similar situation with you but someone who have high self-esteem whether it’s your teacher, police, pastor or anyone with high authority position
4. Reinvent yourself
When people knew you as a nice guy they can find it difficult to copy with your new self. Instead find a role model you can learn from & who can help you to remove that niceness & begin to shape your new reality. Change your body language because bullies or even criminals they can identify a victim through studying your body language. If you walk like a victim people will treat you like one, if you walk like a king people will treat you like one.
5. Draw the line & stand up for yourself
Don't allow people to disrespect or ignore you. Stand up for yourself. If a co-worker steals your idea and passes it off as his own, you are not being nice by letting it slide. You are being cowardly! If your date doesn't show up, and doesn't even bother to call beforehand or afterwards to explain, you are not being nice by overlooking a lack of consideration but you are being a doormat
6. Stop agreeing with everyone and everything.
You don’t have to go club/party just because all your friends are going. You don’t have to watch the movie just because your family members want to see it. Learn how to say "no". Don't make up excuses or try to give reasons for not wanting something. Just be specific, polite & decline the offer.
You don’t have to go club/party just because all your friends are going. You don’t have to watch the movie just because your family members want to see it. Learn how to say "no". Don't make up excuses or try to give reasons for not wanting something. Just be specific, polite & decline the offer.
7. Stop being a people pleaser.
Don't bend over backwards to accommodate everyone except yourself. If people know you as the "nice guy", you are probably a kind person who loves to help people, and that's wonderful thing. But don't be so humble that you become a slave to everyone else's needs and expectations.
ln conclusion, where ever you are & whatever you are trying to do in your life just know that GZ Worldchanger supports your dream. Feel free to like, share or comment with your opinion & l will join you in the discussion [To be continued]
For Public Speaking Gigs, Poetry Gigs & Music Live Show you can book GZ on
Email : gzworldchanger@gmail.com
Twitter : @gzworldchanger
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Email : gzworldchanger@gmail.com
Twitter : @gzworldchanger
Facebook : GZ Worldchanger
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